10 days at a time

Sober Aggression as I like to call it is not simply aggression that is practiced during the time when someone is sober; it is the Aggression that is caused from the grind of everyday life when you are not used to being sober...It is the pessimistic, get-out-of-your-car-and-beat-someone down-for-cutting-you-off attitude that eminates from me and millions of others who try so desperately to climb back on that old wagon we fell from.

Some of us scraped our knees while other broke bones; noses, fingers, toes and sometimes necks and backs, becoming paralyzed for ever, living on life support begging for someone to pull the plug.

I have learned that I am not special, and that those who think they are will get lost on this journey and spend their whole lives trying to find their way back. I do not have a disease. I do have a gene that makes me prone to addiction-alcohol, drugs and sex and anything else that gives you that same feeling you used to get when you were a kid on a roller coaster. I know what everyone says about the whole disease thing and I could care less what they call it...To me, throwing the blame on a mutated cell or "sickness" allowed me to play the roll of enabler.

I have learned that I am responsible for my actions and thoughts. I can not help it if the brain cells react to stimuli more heavily than the person sitting next to me at the bar after I take a drink, but I can control my thoughts and actions.